banda ancha blues

I am sharing the following in the name of timeless comedy. Anyone who has spent time in Argentina knows the woes of the banda ancha or high speed internet service. While Buenos Aires is modern and speedy, finding good, reliable internet in your home can be tougher than you think... just ask my boss.

Since moving to Argentina and working on a website, my life has been a complicated mix of WiFi cafes, shuffling my laptop to the hostel across the street, and locutorios - little stores with by the hour internet. Locutorios are absolutely everywhere, incredibly cheap at $1-2 pesos per hour, and generally pretty speedy. However, a couple of days ago, I learned the dark side of shared computers in Latin America.

In a huge rush, sending a quick IM, I ran from the locutorio leaving my MSN Messenger open. What ensued was apparently a bevvy of IMs to friends and former colleagues from a bored Argentine teenager. PRETTY HILARIOUS and not a bit sad. I have, countless times, used a shared computer at a locutorio when someone has left their IM open and, like a good citizen have closed it. NO MORE. I can't wait to find someone's open Messenger so that I can 'Pay it forward' next time. MWAHAHAHA.

In the meantime, here is a transcript between my friend Tanya and "me". If you received a similar IM, I ensure you that I haven't taken up speaking Spanglish nor have I started youching mi clitoris in public... yet. Could my life BE more rediculous?

As they say in the BA... disculpe las molestas. I will be more careful in future.

Start of Clare.. heart of darkness buffer: Fri Oct 13
10:53:45 2006
[10:44] Clare.. heart of darkness: hello biatc
[10:44] Clare.. heart of darkness: h
[10:44] Tanya: lol
[10:44] Clare.. heart of darkness: bitch
[10:44] Tanya: hi stinky
[10:44] Clare.. heart of darkness: jajaja
[10:45] Tanya: it's okay, i got the gist of it
[10:45] Tanya: how are you, my love?!
[10:45] Clare.. heart of darkness: I'M OK
[10:45] Clare.. heart of darkness: i'm horny rightnow....
[10:45] Tanya: oh my god
[10:45] Tanya: too much information
[10:45] Tanya: where is your man?
[10:47] Tanya: oh, you're just going to say "i'm horny right now" and then leave?
[10:47] Tanya: pervert
[10:47] Clare.. heart of darkness: no
[10:47] Clare.. heart of darkness: i'm youching mi clitoris..
[10:48] Clare.. heart of darkness: i'm sooo horny i don't now why!
[10:48] Tanya: i will reiterate
[10:48] Tanya: tmi
[10:48] Tanya: can't you have your boyfriend take care of that?
[10:48] Clare.. heart of darkness: i'm sooo horny i don't now why!
[10:49] Clare.. heart of darkness: n o i take care myself...
[10:49] Tanya: uh, did you leave your im on and now somebody else is writing?
[10:49] Tanya: i hope?
[10:50] Clare.. heart of darkness: mm nop
[10:51] Tanya: so this is what you are writing to tell me?
[10:51] Tanya: don't you have some deep thoughts on international travel that you can share?
[10:51] *** "Clare.. heart of darkness" signed off at Fri Oct 13 10:51:23 2006.
End of Clare.. heart of darkness buffer: Fri Oct 13 10:53:45 2006